A Rose by Any Other Name

In the past, we’ve talked about the reverse snobbery found in craft and homebrewing. Nothing unsheathes the hipster claws of beerdom faster than anything that vaguely smacks of marketing. Never mind that breweries need to sell things to stay in business.

Never mind that successful breweries, even small mom-and-pop operations, craft their images with almost as much care as their beer. Nope, if it’s “marketing,” then it deserves nothing less than scorn.

What does this have to do with homebrewing? You and I aren’t shiners dodging the revenuers, selling our beer. I don’t desire the kind of intimate relationship with Alcoholic Beverage Controls that’s necessary to make that happen. But while we may not be selling for cash money, we are selling a product, an idea, a piece of our creativity to our friends and families whenever we offer them a glass. We may not have the money or need for Swedish bikini team commercials, but a proper name creates a good first impression and can inspire your brewing.

I base all of this name foofaraw on years of observing which beers get the hype at festivals and which recipes stick in people’s minds the longest. Even wildly experimental beers catch the eye because we’re presented with either a great name or a grandiose list of ingredients. Back it up with a great beer, and the stars will have aligned and history been created. To get there, I point to two of my goofiest creations. Ask yourself which of these names makes a stronger impression and sticks in your mind—“Inaugural Double IPA” or “The Audacity of Aretha Franklin’s Hat DIPA”; “Bourbon Tequila Spiced Barleywine” or “Gonzo Hemp Poppy Spirit Wine.” (Both recipes are available online.)

A great name should evoke something: a memory, a sensation, a feeling—even if that feeling is a hale “f you!” Witness the great success of Arrogant Bastard. Think that beer would have sold nearly as well or cemented the Stone brand if it were called “Stone Brewing American Strong Ale”? Most of my named beers, and I’ll admit I don’t name all of them, get names tied to the moment or thought behind the beer. (See the “Mortgage Killer” from issue #47.)

But beyond giving a better post to hang your hat on than “Porter #5” or “Citra IPA,” a good name affects the perception of the beer. “Punkin Chunkin Ale” (from Dogfish Head) preps the drinker for the mélange of pumpkin pie spice. They’re expecting a certain flavor and can probably pick out every spice individually. That same beer, without the “Punkin” moniker, fails to prime the drinker, sparking no expectations. After all, what’s in a “Spiced Amber”?

Finally, a name can serve as your muse, providing you with the image you now need to capture in a glass. I have great fun sitting around with other brewers riffing on funny names. For me, it’s another entry into the inspiration zone.

A joke in the techie world is that something expensive, risky and possibly doomed to failure is out on the “bleeding edge” of the tech curve. From there, we gotta go with a strong red beer, big and bloody. For expense, do we look at a metric assload of hops? For the risk, we definitely need a stupidly high percentage of rye that will probably stick the mash. Of course, we have to do something so it’s not just another “Hop Rod Rye” clone—spice? Unusual yeast? It’s all TBD. So, no recipe this month, as it’s still in formulation behind a very cool Saison project to be unveiled at the 2011 AHA National Homebrewers Conference in San Diego.

We often joke that our beers are our babies. Be kind to your sudsy children, and give them a name that conveys their awesomeness! ■